


drunk in love

by orphan_account



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Bronan, Drunken Confessions, Gen, Ronan Lynch & Blue Sargent Friendship, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5257508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blue and Ronan get extremely drunk in hopes of alleviating the painful effects of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	drunk in love

Blue’s head was swimming, and she didn’t know if she was in her own body. 

Was it her dancing on top of Ronan’s bed? Was she actually thinking of how she found herself falling in love with Gansey? Did she really voice these thoughts out loud to Ronan?

She didn’t even know how she got to this point of total drunkenness. 

She remembered arriving at Monmouth Manufacturing. Her heart was hurting because she had dwelled on her box of “Do Not Think About” thoughts that she stored in the back of her mind, most of those thoughts being about how the only thing she could do with her life was kill her true love. Her sadness was overwhelming, and she didn’t know what to do about it. So, she went to the one place that she wished she could truly call home, only to find that it was mostly empty. Adam was working. Gansey was visiting his sister. Noah was gone for an unknown amount of time. But Ronan was in his room, as always. 

She remembered kicking Ronan’s ass at Mario Cart. He was good at violent combat games, but he ate banana peels when it came to Mario Cart. Angry at himself for losing-- he had lost against that midget, seriously?!-- he popped the top of a beer and tipped his head back.

“Hey, either share or get me one,” Blue had demanded.

So, he handed her one, and within five minutes, it was empty. So he gave her another, and another, and another. She may have had more than four. She probably had more than four, but sahe couldn’t really remember beyond that.

But now, here she was, drunk and out of her mind, teetering on the edge of a blackout.

“I don’t even understand how I’m in love with him. Christ, he wears boat shoes, Ronan... Boat shoes! And he _likes_ them!” Blue said, her breathing heavy and ragged from all her dancing. Was there even any music playing, or was the bass just the beat of her heart and the verses just musings of her mind? 

“Don’t forget about the tacky polos,” Ronan reminded her. She had taken a seat on the edge of the bed, but he still jumped in the middle, the movement rocking her slightly. 

“Oh, I know. They’re terrible, but he’s just so...” Blue sighed. Gansey was just so _Gansey_. He was ambitious, driven, flawed, loyal, romantic, thoughtful, king-like, and a total loser... A total loser that she happened to be in love with. She knew the dangers, she knew what she was going to do to him, but the urge to wrap her arms around him, hold him close, and press her lips to his was nearly unbearable. Why couldn’t things have been easy? Why couldn’t she have just stayed away from these raven boys? Or why couldn’t they have been like all the other Aglionby bastards, sporting self-entitlement and soulless bodies?

Blue put her head in her hands to hide the tears that filled her eyes, but it was no use. Soon, she was sobbing. 

She was never one to cry, but when it came to love, it seemed unavoidable. Which was why it was in her “Do Not Think About” box. 

Ronan immediately noticed her cries and sat next to her. He put his arm around her. “Blue? Are you... What’s wrong?”

“It really sucks to love someone you know you can’t have,” Blue whimpered, still not lifting her head.

Her words felt like tiny daggers piercing his own heart. He had thought the same thing so many times after he was finally able to admit to himself that he was gay and that he had a crush on his best friend who was definitely not gay.

“I know what you mean,” he said, his voice low and soft. He hadn’t really meant to say it, but the words slipped out, and Blue heard them. She lifted her head immediately, her tear-filled eyes now full of pity as well.

“ _Ronan_ ,” Blue began. He didn’t give her a chance to finish.

“No. Don’t tell me that you think he could possibly like me. I refuse to hang on to some false hope. It’s so much easier to just go through the day and silently love him while knowing he doesn’t love me back than to go through my days holding to some silly little fantasy that will crush me when I find out that it isn’t true and that I was right all along,” Ronan said. He meant it. 

There had been a few nights when he let himself think about the _what if’s_. What if Adam was bisexual or gay or whatever? What if Adam liked him back? 

But those thoughts were shut down quickly. Adam couldn’t love him. Adam would never love him, not the way Ronan wanted him to love him. And it was much easier to accept that than to ponder about what they’d do on dates, how’d it’d begin, how their lips would feel against each other’s.

Once he allowed even a sliver of hope, the downward spiral began. That hope would build up, up, up, probably to be crashed down and kicked about and stomped on and thrown back in his face.

Love wasn’t worth it, not to Ronan.

“God, when did everything get so fucked up?” Blue asked, burying her head in his chest. 

“I think the entire world is fucked up. We’re just innocent bystanders that accidentally got swept up into the shit-storm,” Ronan said. “And you can cry over it... or you can move past it.”

Blue pulled back. His words might have sounded harsh, but he didn’t say it to be mean, and she understood that. “You can even laugh about it, though the world might try to punch you in the face if you do. The universe has a mighty big ego,” Blue said. Her words almost made sense, but the buzz from the alcohol hindered her.

“You can laugh about it...” Ronan repeated. Then, he grinned and got up,, leaving her alone in his room. He returned quickly and handed her yet another bottle of beer. “You can get hammered and sing shitty radio songs and dance on the bed.”

“Whatever makes the pain more bearable,” she said, popping the cap and clinking the mouth against his bottle. Her hands were too shaky when she tilted the bottle, and the cold beer spilled onto her shirt. She looked down at the giant wet spot on the front of her tank top. She shrugged and took it off, throwing it across the room. She didn’t even care that she was standing there topless, and it didn’t seem like she planned to cover up any time soon.

Ronan rolled his eyes. He retrieved a t-shirt from his drawer and gave it to her in exchange for the bottle. “I think you’ve had enough to drink.”

Blue shrugged again and put on the shirt.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. She vaguely remembered the sound of Ronan’s voice, actually on pitch and melodious, as he sang with her. She wasn’t nearly as talented, but that didn’t stop her from shamelessly reciting the lyrics to some old Britney Spears songs. She also remembered the bounce of the mattress as they danced on the bed once again. 

She didn’t know when she fell asleep, but when she woke the next morning, she was in Ronan’s bed and had a major hangover. Ronan was already awake and feeding Chainsaw. He had bags under his eyes and a menacing look on his face, but he definitely did not seem nearly as hungover.

Blue growled when she opened her eyes, the sound low and poisonous. Her head was pounding, and any tiny stream of light was enough to burn her eyes.

“Morning, sunshine. How are you feeling?” Ronan asked, walking over to her. He was definitely whispering, but his voice felt so _loud_.

“Never let me drink like that again, please,” she croaked. 

He chuckled and lowered his gaze to the nightstand, where he had placed pain medication and a glass of water. Her head turned to find what he was looking at. Neither of them said anything, but Blue nodded an unspoken _thank you_ before taking a sip of water.

She stayed in his bed for a few more hours, just until her eyes weren’t as dead so her family wouldn’t be suspicious. 

Though some pain still burdened her heart as she went home, she felt lighter than she had the night before, and she knew she needed to thank Ronan. He didn’t like to acknowledge the fact that he was pretty tolerable, but Blue felt lucky to have him as a friend.

It wasn’t really the alcohol that made the pain more bearable.

It was the company.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Beyoncé's "Drunk in Love", of course
> 
> pls ignore the rough spots in this. 
> 
> I really wanted to write something, but my mind wasn’t quite cooperating with me. 
> 
> when you don’t know what to write, write your brotp getting extremely drunk together! 
> 
> (inspired by [this post](http://hufflepuffnoah.tumblr.com/post/133349008331/psa-blue-sargent-is-secretly-a-horribly-romantic))


End file.
